The Human Body

The human body absolutely amazes me! No more so than during pregnancy and childbirth. How your body can make a child and nurture them for 9months, whilst they grow and turn into beautiful babies. Each one unique, all different sizes. Us women really are amazing!!

Growing Baby Bump

I was so worried about the dreaded stretchmarks through my first pregnancy but my pre-pregnancy belly wasnt half as bad as I had expected and its true what they say; when you hold your baby in your arms, nothing else matters. So I was shocked and confused when I got even more down during this pregnancy, my stretchmarks are twice as bad second time round and I couldnt seem to get past this. Until now. Im now happy when I look in the mirror, and im not worried about how long it takes me to get back 'in shape' after Baby H's arrival because I know exactly what every mark means and I will be reminded of that every time I look at my 2 beautiful children.

Baby Scan

From organised to complete chaos

If I go back a month or so, I felt extremiley organised. We had found a place to move into, and the landlord was redecorating the whole place, with a nice new kitchen and bathroom too. We had everything ready for Baby Hs arrival: double buggy, crib, clothes etc. I also had the date in which id be finishing work, was perfect timing for moving in and preparing for christmas. Everything finally seemed to be going right for us.

Our moving in date quickly came round, I had forgotten just how stressfull it really is, especially whilst being pregnant and having a baby crawling around. My family were all away and Kieren wanted to move everything in all on one day(a friday) so the only help we had was his 2 brothers, and they spent most of the day bickering and trying to get a sofa into our front room (it didnt fit). My stress levels were sky high by now, so kierens mum took Jayden for the afternoon so we could get on. we spent the rest of the day, sorting a sofa that does fit in the door and building wardrobes/bedside tables etc. Then I decided that I wanted to put the crib up, so Jayden could get used to it being around, but after I had built the base, the instructions said to get the sides.. and thats where it all went wrong, there were no sides!! We instantly got in contact with the company we ordered the crib from, only to find out that they no longer stock the crib we had ordered so we would have to send it back and get a refund. Well, its 3-4 weeks later and we are still waiting for the money back and we still have no crib. Im due in 3 weeks 1 day so im starting to worry slightly about the baby coming early and having nowhere to sleep.

Just to add to our lovely 1st month in our new home we had major trouble with our boiler and ended up having to stay with family for afew days as it was just too cold, and our washing machine decided to pack up too.

Its less than a week until christmas day and I had planned to be so organised, but we have only done half our shopping, we dont even have wrapping paper yet and we only have a tiny tree this year as we have no idea where ours is and dont have time/money to get a new one at the moment :(

But saying all this and Even with all this happening plus being ill I absolutely love christmas and am determined to have a great time, Kieren finishes work this friday and we have a weekend full of shopping, baking and wrapping planned to cheer us up :) I will do everything in my power to make sure Jayden has a lovely time.

The Pregnancy blues?

I dont really know quite how to explain how im feeling right now, I have an underlying feeling of guilt. Ive been getting major mood swings and have been feeling mega emotional. I feel as if I should be over-joyed and beaming with excitement, but the truth is im far from that. I have so many things going through my head right now, im worried im not going to be able to cope with everything.

My life is about to change in a MASSIVE way, our second baby is due in just under 6 weeks and I dont feel ready atall. When we first found out I was pregnant I was shocked but so happy, but now Jaydens going through the tantruming stage and hes into everything, and loves ignoring me, and some days I just feel like I want to curl up in a ball and ignore the world, but as a mum I dont have time to feel sorry for my self and quickly have to shake it off.I wonder how im going to cope with a newborn thrown into the mix?

My partner is working incredibly hard, and even working at the weekends, hes exhausted and I know its hard for him only seeing Jayden for around half hour most days. I feel like Im being selfish, I get to stay at home with our babies and its what ive always wanted to do, so how do I have the right to moan?

Im sure ill get through this 'stage', I know im strong, and its just been a very hard week, so everythings just got to me all at once. Our boilers broken, its freezing and Jayden has to sleep at his nannys every night, which im finding very hard. My grandad was taken to hospital, hes been let out now but they think he may have angina. My grandma passed away a couple of months ago and that hit me hard, and now this, I dont have a large family but we are all very close, I see them 2 or 3 times most weeks, not sure my heart can take losing another grandparent just yet.

Its amazing, how just simply writing down your feelings can feel like a huge wait has been lifted from your shoulders. I feel as if this is the first step to feeling like me again :)

A new chapter

So, I have now finished work and have entered the world of stay-at-home mums. Its only been just over a week and I am already feeling the strain. Its much more challenging than I imagined, and its only 6 weeks until our 2nd little bundle of joy is due.

Yesterday was a very challenging day, Jayden is almost 14 months and over the past 2 weeks he has slowly changed for a charming, cute little boy to an absolute terror! A devil child infact. His tantrums are unreal, but Im stubborn and am determined to get over this stage without giving in.

But who could stay made at this face...

Certainly not me!

For anyone who says stay at home mums have it easy, id gladly give you my child for a day and then see if you still hold the same veiws.

27 weeks: Pregnancy update

Im 28 weeks tomorrow, so only 12 weeks left until my due date! We have most of the things ready for the baby, but we are still living at my mums at the moment where there is no room atall, so im really praying she doesnt come early!! We should be moved out by the middle of december at the latest (touch wood). Other than extreme tiredness im feeling great, and so far ive had no urine infections, which I suffered from whilst pregnant with Jayden.

I now have my leaving date for work, 21st of November will be my final shift and I cannot wait. I miss my baby everytime I leave him and especially when I dont enjoy my job any more.

We have chosen a name for our girl but we are keeping it a secret so we just call her Baby H. I honestly thought for a while that we were never going to agree on a name. I know we still have a while to go but we had Jaydens name chosen before we even knew the sex.

Im still so much more nervous and anxious about the birth this time round, im not really sure why though? Im looking forward to choosing baby Hs first outfit and packing my hospital bag soon.

Time Flies..

Cannot believe how busy Ive been this past month. Time is literally flying past and im struggling to keep up with it all. Heres a brief catch-up:

Well, Jayden turned 1!!! We had the most amazing week, he was so well behaved and happy, He was a credit to me and Kieren. So much planning went into it to try make his day special and im so pleased with it all was definitely worth all the stress. On the day of his birthday we had people in and out all day, he wasn't very interested in his presents, was all slightly over whelming for him but he LOVED all the wrapping paper.

Here are a few pictures from his Birthday (02/10/12):

Mummy and Daddys card to Jayden

Jayden enjoying some cake for BREAKFAST!!

The cake we made

His card on Cbeebies :)

We then had a little party on the saturday with afew of his little friends and our friends. We had both days at my mums house and as we couldnt be sure of the weather we decided it was safer to have 2 seperate days. This was definitely the best decision as there just wouldnt have been enough room for everyone otherwise. We know a cake maker so we decided to save ourself some time and stress of making his 2nd cake, the party had a jungle theme and when it was all set up it looked amazing (if I do say so myself).

Here are afew pictures of the party (06/10/12):

Could this be more perfect??

All ready for bed after a tiring day

I cant thank everyone that came and made Jaydens 1st birthday so special enough.

A week later it was Kierens birthday, I had been planning Jaydens for so long and been putting all my energy in to that that I completely put Kierens to the side. So it was all very last minute and rushed, but I will just have to make next year amazing! I did however make him breakfast in bed (even if it was only co-co pops LOL).

The rest of my time has been taken up by getting everything ready for Baby H (we finally agreed on a name, but are keeping it secret),looking for a place to move to, working and furniture shopping. Busy busy BUSY!!!

How life changes..

Ive always wanted to be a mum, and I had always hoped id become one quite young (22 was the age I invisioned id fall pregnant). But i never would have imagined having a baby and 1 on the way by the age of 22! Im writing this post as its that time of year when everyones off on their holidays and I remember afew years ago that that was my life.

2 years on and my life couldnt be anymore different, and I can honestly say I wouldnt change it for the world! I feel so unbelieveably lucky. Kieren is amazing and I honestly dont know what I wold do without him and hes taken to fatherhood like a duck to water! Watching him and Jayden together melts my heart! We are both so lucky to have such supporting families and friends, theres just so much love from everywhere around us, we are extremiley lucky and I try not to take it for granted.

I dont miss 'the party lifestyle' atall and as much as id love to go on holiday, I want a little family one, must get saving, maybe 2014 :)